I’ve never loved someone so freely and completely. It felt so nice to trust someone completely for once. To not worry who they were out with, or if they were lying about anything. I never thought I’d love someone like that. I always thought I’d always have a worry that they’d find someone who makes them happier than I ever could. It was the most satisfying thing to know that I could trust someone like that, and to know they’d never leave me. I should have known I’d mess it up, or I wouldn’t be enough. Now I’m just the ex. Something I never thought I’d be. But I guess that’s what I get for taking that love for granted. I just wish I could have one more chance, but maybe I don’t deserve it. I don’t know. I just wish it weren’t like this anymore. I wish I could do something other than constantly make things worse.
i think rob zombie was really speaking for all of us when he stressed how important it is to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches and slam in the back of one’s dragula
Honestly something that bothers me more than most things is having my compassion mistaken for naivety.
I know that another fish might eat this bullfrog right after I spend months rehabilitating it.
I know that turning a beetle back onto its legs won’t save it from falling over again when I walk away.
I know that there is no cosmic reward waiting for my soul based on how many worms I pick off a hot sidewalk to put into the mud, or how many times I’ve helped a a raccoon climb out of a too-deep trashcan.
I know things suffer, and things struggle, and things die uselessly all day long. I’m young and idealistic, but I’m not literally a child. I would never judge another person for walking by an injured bird, for ignoring a worm, or for not really caring about the fate of a frog in a pond full of, y’know, plenty of other frogs.
There is nothing wrong with that.
But I cannot cannot cannot look at something struggling and ignore it if I may have the power to help.
There is so much bad stuff in this world so far beyond my control, that I take comfort in the smallest, most thankless tasks. It’s a relief to say “I can help you in this moment,” even though they don’t understand.
I don’t need a devil’s advocate to tell me another fish probably ate that frog when I let it go, or that the raccoon probably ended up trapped in another dumpster the next night.
I know!!!! I know!!!!!!! But today I had the power to help! So I did! And it made me happy!
